OH. MY. GOSH.
Heehee. Today's yet another good day. It seems as though, as A levels is drawing to a close, these "good days" are becoming a more frequent affair. Says a lot about the negative correlation between A levels and good days does it not? Ahh wells. 4 more days, 4 more days till I'm free...
ANYWAY. That's not the original intention of this post. The original intention was to just say how happy I was about today. For the first time in EONS, and i mean eons when i say that, I got to see my very best friend, Freya. It's been really tough to get to meet her ever since we went to different schools after Secondary school was concluded, and this was only aggravated as Prelims and A levels set in for me, and Poly life got more hectic for her. So seeing her and getting to catch up with her after so long really is a treat! And we went to go get Island Creamery again, which is a really huge plus point.
Haha. But damn, it seems that as we grow older, our schedules become more and more unfavorable and, especially with university coming up, and how it will send us in our separate paths, even all across the globe, meeting up is just going to get exponentially harder. All i can hope is that that doesn't affect our friendship, and how close we are and so on and so forth. I've had one close friend move away from me before, resulting in a 6 year loss in contact, and by golly, i do not want that to happen again.
Still, it's a little to early to be worrying about these things right now is it not? I guess for now at least it'll make sense to revel in the present, and worry about the future when it comes. As they always say, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
Besides, I have faith in Freya and I. She's a really awesome friend, and I am so lucky to have her.
okay, back to studying i guess. TT_TT
Still breathing!
<3 purpleandorangesheep
Fresh Air...
Today was an amazing day. Nuff said.
Haha. Just kidding. Really though, it was a pretty awesome day. For the first time in like... ever, I felt good after a paper. No, I'm not convinced that I'm going to do well or anything, I just feel like for once, I know I did my best, and that really is about the most satisfying feeling ever. It made me seriously heave a sigh of relief that on the most trying day of all of A levels, things are finally going my way.
It's an amazing sensation, and i really love it. It really was like a breath of fresh air. So yes, today's a good day, no doubt about it. Praise God for his blessings!
Now, if only this feeling were to carry onwards all the way to tuesday, I feel that there might still be hope for my A levels yet.
Praying really hard!
Still breathing, now praying fervently.
<3 purpleandorangesheep.
dual papers tmr *gulp*
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| OMGOMGOMG |
OMG. There's like two papers tomorrow, KI and Econs, both analysis papers. I think not only is my hand about to die, I am going to have my brain explode. This is kind of a less than desirable situation is it not? Haha. Ahh wells. At least after tomorrow I'm only going to have two papers left. That's like... a huge relief. I really can't wait for the A's to be over. Really really cannot wait.
On the upside, I'm really excited for my new phone! I"m getting the HTC Desire Z, and OMG it's so beautiful. Just go look it up on google or something, it really is the most amazing machine ever. Sure, it's a little huge, but every ounce of it is just pure AWESOME. So yeahh, I'm really pumped for that. Whooo...
Okay, better go now, gotta get ample rest for tomorrow's do or die (NOT A FALSE DICHOTOMY)
Till then,
the hyperventilating sheep.
<3 purpleandorangesheep
a spot of brightness amidst clouds of grey
Remember how I mentioned earlier that this blog is becoming something of an emo hub? Well, today I found something that I have to thank God for, something that I fully appreciate. Something that brings me joy and hope whenever I'm feeling completely down. What's this you may ask?
It, or rather, He, is none other than my sweetheart, Jared.
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every cloud has a silver lining right?
YOU are my silver lining. (: |
Really, just when i feel like giving up, or whenever I feel crazy upset, in his own quirky little way, he brings me joy, whether or not he means it. It can be in his teasing, in his smile, anything. Even when he frustrates me, he makes me feel a little better. I guess it's just the knowledge that despite the tumultuous storms that I have to face on a day to day basis, there is a spot of brightness, of hope amongst it all. There is a life buoy, or even a lighthouse in the dark and dreary storm. Again, I am the queen of melodrama, but I dont know. This really is how I feel.
To my sweetheart:
I love you so much alright, thanks for being everything you are, for making me smile on such a regular basis. I dont know what I'd do without you. Thanks so much love.
Yupp, so with this realization, today I feel that I am not only breathing, I'm living for a change. It's refreshing. It's as if a gust of fresh air finally came my way.
Love is such an amazing feeling is it not?
<3 Purpleandorangesheep.
Why
And here comes another string of emo. Be forewarned my pretties, this ain't going to be the most pleasent reading experience of your life. For real.
So, after many days of attempting to surpress the feeling of anxiety and angst that resulted from the horrendous paper 3, I approached today's chemistry paper 2 with some sort of anticipation, maybe even an inkling of hope. Misplaced hope it seems.
Paper 2 was an utter mess. It was horrendous. I believe I got the entire question 2 wrong. Ordinarily, that would not sound like much of a deal, but given the fact that the question was worth a grand total of 22 marks out of 72, it is. I had hoped to be able to make up the lost marks in paper 3 here in paper 2, in hopes that perhaps I would be able to drag myself out of a potential B, and attain instead an A, yet that was not to be. The paper was the weirdest thing I had ever done in my entire life. It was far from the conventional questions that i had previously practiced, and it was frightening. Utterly frightening i tell you. So here i stand, with just about no hope left within me, and my entire chemistry grade resting upon nothing else but my MCQ. Oh the horrors am i right?
Ahh, but who am I to complain. What will be will be no? All i can hope to do now is attempt some form of damage control.
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| totally feel like doing this |
It seems my blog is turning into some sort of emo hub or something. hmm.... this has to be rectified. And i'm sure it will be... in about a week's time, when A levels finally ends.
Gosh, i cannot wait for that to happen.
Till then, i'll just "dance in the rain", and keep on... well... breathing.
<3 purpleandorangesheep.
CHEM OMG
And here i return with the next post. Barely a day after the last. I see my A levels kind of going down the drain. Nahh, the real reason is the need to express emotions. See, I was just doing my chemistry revision like any good A level student would. Hardworking no? But it seemed that the more I did my chem, the less I could do my questions. Even the really crazy simple ones that I typically, prior to A levels beginning anyway, would have no problem doing. And then the flood of emotion that had been held behind a dam ever since paper 3 had been concluded came rushing forth, much like a rushing river and whatnot. Such melodrama. Heh. But you know,
It was a really head in hands, on the verge of giving up kind of feeling.
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| Too much to bear... |
And damn, it felt horrible. It seems like ever since that paper a large part of my confidence for chemistry had just evaporated, much like the ullage of a bowl of water left in a windy area. It's pretty crazy. Things had changed. For some reason, I now approach the doing of chemistry with a sort of trepidation and a queer form of fear. It's... unpleasant. Yeah.
And today didn't help much either. Today in church a "friend" asked how the A levels was. So being the nice honest girl that I am, heh, I told him about it objectively and truthfully. That I'd messed up pretty big. So of course, naturally, I would expect a grown adult to have a little tact and behave like, you know, a civilized human being. No. You know what he told me?
"Ever thought you may not be as good at the subject as you think you are?"
Gee thanks. That's all I ever needed to hear, right in the midst of my A levels as well right. Thank you, you're such a pal! -_-
I dont know it really hurt me, and it really affected my day and my studying capacity. It made me wonder, what if i really am not as good as i would like to think? what if much of my expectations for myself are a large part of well, wishful thinking. Prior to about 5 months ago, my chem really wasnt all that good. So how?
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| gotta keep trying no? |
But then i thought, damn. I'm not going to let some asshole get me down. I gotta conquer chem and show him. And this sounds like a really good idea to me, but it's kind of a hard one to execute.
Still, I'm going to try. I'm going to try to break out of this horrible emotional mess. I'm going to try and cut free all the emotional baggage and scarring that had happened as a result of that one single paper.
After all, no sense in letting everything I've worked for so far go down the drain right?
Pfft. Easier said than done.
Still,
Still smiling, still breathing.
<3 purpleandorangesheep
Breathing
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| Breathe. (: |
Hello. Out of boredom I have decided to create a blog. Haha. We'll see how this goes. For now I'll just do my best to keep this little "story of my life" thing going. Hmm. Sounds dubious.
In any case, I guess a main part of my motivation for why I'm doing this has got to do with my A levels. The A's... Not the most enjoyable thing in the world, but having completed one whole week of it, and four papers to boot, I feel the need to reward myself with some down-time. *read: time wasting.* So i sat down, created this and spent some time well...
Breathing.
It felt nice. Not quite sure when the next time I get to breathe will be, so i'm going to enjoy it while it lasts. I really should be studying though. Yeah.
Oh well.
Still smiling though.
<3 Purpleandorangesheep.
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