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icant..
Friday, May 27, 2011 11:42 PM | 0 ♥ comments

You cannot expect me to sit in the room and watch as favoritism rears its ugly head, plain and clear in front of me, and not feel anything. You can't expect me not to react when you show support for her pursuits, but scoff and get angry with me when i attempt to pursue my interests. You can't expect me to feel like everything's alright when everyone's completely forgotten what I have been so passionate about since I was in Kindergarten, what I worked doggedly at to make my own and craft for myself. You can't expect me to be okay when all that's been forgotten, just because now someone else is doing it as well, and had professional help. I taught myself, does that mean nothing to anyone? I pursued everything on my own, by myself, with nothing less than absolute passion and determination. You never supported me, never really gave two thoughts to how you could help me improve. But now that she's doing it too, you throw everything you have into helping her grow into it. I know that the sudden influx of materials is just to "prove" that you're being fair, and not ignoring my three year old request, the one that i have been working hard for and repeatedly fulfilling your demands for and never getting. Just because  you went and got the same item for her on a whim. She never had to work for it. 
You can't expect me to feel okay that someone else is taking over what i have loved for most of my life. It was what defined me. And now you dont even remember that i do it. 
You can't expect so much of me.
I can't keep being strong about everything when no one cares. 
when no one bothers to support me.
it hurts and you dont even care.
does it matter to you that it hurts me? Do you care?
you still continue to fling it in my face, telling me about all the latest purchases you got for her to make her a better artist.
and when i reminded you that i do art too, you were like "huh...? oh yeah, you do ah."
THANKS.
great to know how forgettable I am.
I've worked on my art for 14 years. She's worked on it for three.
How did i become forgotten here?
How have you never been proud of me, of what i have achieved. 
HOW CAN YOU FLAUNT HOW PROUD YOU ARE OF HER WHEN YOU'VE NEVER DONE SO FOR ME.
HOW is copying a picture more impressive than creating something purely from your heart, your mind, your imagination.
i dont get it.
i cant do this anymore.
please stop. 
please stop telling the world how proud you are of her in front of me.
please remember me.



Comic--Update!
Thursday, May 26, 2011 1:05 AM | 0 ♥ comments

And now my friends, here comes yet another sneak peak at the comic... it's yet another character. He's not a main character, but he's a main supporting character. How does that even work... haha. Regardless, I really like him. He doesn't have a last name. Don't ask why, he just does not. And no, it was not because I was too lazy to think up a last name for him. I swear! It has to do with the uhh... plot.. or... something. 
Maybe i should just give him a last name... hmm...
Regardless, everybody, meet Kyle! He's a young boy... somewhere like 13 years old. Yes. He's a little bit wonky, and I haven't fully determined his character type/personality yet, but I have a rough idea. :)
And here he is! :
Yupp, that's Kyle!
Stay tuned for more my friends!


<3 purpleandorangesheep


kyle (c) Purpleandorangesheep


Amazing...
Wednesday, May 25, 2011 4:51 PM | 0 ♥ comments

I was browsing youtube, trying to find a video to help me learn some sign language on my mum's behalf, when I happened upon one user who uploads songs in ASL. As I watched, I literally felt my eyes popping out of their sockets. This guy is really unbelievably amazing. I take my hat off to him a million times over. I mean, he even signs RAPS. Seriously, I was blown away. So if you guys have the time to, do take a look. It really is quite... awe-inspiring, to say the least. 









So yeah, enjoy. :)

<3 purpleandorangesheep


UPDATE-- Comic!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011 8:03 PM | 0 ♥ comments

Heehee. In one of my earlier posts, I mentioned that I was going to start doing a comic. Well, ever since that post, the project has been on a sort of hiatus, both due to a lack of inspiration as well as a lack of motivation (read: laziness). Mostly the "lack of motivation" was to blame. However, as of yesterday, I was suddenly gripped with a desire to start working on the comic again, and stayed up to the wee hours of the morning, drawing panal after panal. It was oddly satisfying.
Anyway...
The purpose of this post is really some shameless advertisement of my comic... which is not done yet, and probably won't be done for a very long time to come. However, here's a small little teaser!
This is Kaira Trianne, the main character of my comic. She's colour blind. And I'm probably going to bully her a lot in the story. Poor kid. Oh well. :)
Hope you enjoyed this small little sneak peak. :) Stay tuned for more!




<3 purpleandorangesheep


Kaira Trianna (c) Purpleandorangesheep


Hunting...
Saturday, May 21, 2011 7:03 PM | 0 ♥ comments

Recently, I have been introduced to a game called mouse hunt by my sweet boyfriend. Muahahaha. Let the hunt begin my friends. Let the hunt begin...

*mice squeak in terror*

<3 predatory purpleandorangesheep :)


Decisionsdecisionsdecisions
6:26 PM | 0 ♥ comments

the crossroads of life
Ever felt like you were hard pressed to make a life altering choice, whereby the smallest mistake in judgement that you make could potentially ruin you and all that is your future?
Yeah, I know the feeling. Fact is, that's what I'm feeling right now. I feel as if I'm standing at the cross roads of two very important potential paths, both filled with their individual up sides, but also with their downsides. I feel like whichever road i choose to take will pretty much be life altering, and i'm pretty much terrified that I'm going to pick the wrong road, the road that will lead me to a dead end. 
I really don't want to have to regret any of my decisions. I've made too many bad choices in the past, i don't need another one to add to the list, much less one as significant as this. 
You're probably thinking: "oh come now, what is she on about this time. Surely it cannot be as bad as she's making it out to be, the melodramatic fool."
BUT IT IS.
You see my friends, I'm trying to decide which university to go to. 
Yes, all this fuss is about a toss up between two highly appealing universities. Problem?
Seriously though, I think the doors that each university will open up to me are vastly different, and the choice i make within these few days will pretty much play a humongous role in determining the future life that i lead. And I feel just so very conflicted about it all. 
It certainly does not help that I'm getting so many conflicting thoughts and opinions from everywhere. It seems as soon as i make a choice, someone comes and tells me something different that makes me go, "oh, no wait..." and I'm back to square one. If you know me, you'll probably be familiar with the idea that I'm an extremely indecisive person. Can you see how all this has just been aggravated hundredfold by the inputs i'm getting as well as the weight of this decision? 


I suppose I'll come to a decision eventually... hopefully.
maybe i'll just take a gap year and pretend none of this really happened.
Ahh, don't worry I'll be fine. I just needed to vent my frustration at my inability to cast a final decision when i know it has to be done ridiculously soon. 
Please somebody, anybody, please show me the way. 


Till then though,
<3 purpleandorangesheep





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